My wife Laura and I just celebrated twenty-nine years of marriage. Which, if I’m being honest, doesn’t compute with our brains. The other day, Laura told me, “I don’t feel old enough to be married for twenty-nine years.” She looks way too young, too.
Truth be told, our marriage relationship hasn’t been perfect by a long shot. Like every couple, we’ve had our issues. Among them would be that I have more than enough flaws and selfish actions to fill up one of the Great Lakes.
I’ve often been the problem.
I would love to go back in time to teach myself about relationships. I’d like to smack myself around a little. If I could, I would say this to you and me.
If you want great relationships, make Jesus your highest one.
I know we say this, but do we do it? I know I didn’t make Jesus the priority as I should have. I was often too busy and too selfish.
It would have been better if I had listened to Jesus when he said, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” (Matthew 6:33)
I would have told myself Jesus is the key.
The next thing I would say is…
If you want great relationships, don’t be so selfish.
In my opinion, selfishness is the number one issue in every relationship. We all like ourselves way too much.
My selfish attitude has caused way too many problems. I need to listen to the Bible when it says, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your interests, but take an interest in others, too.” (Philippians 2:3-4)
I would have told myself to think of others first.
The next thing I would say is…
If you want great relationships, you need to serve others.
I don’t know if you can relate, but my problem is I love to be served more than I love serving others. That’s gotten me into a lot of trouble.
Jesus said, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.” (Matthew 20:26)
I would have told myself that great relationships take excellent service to others.
If you could go back in time, what would you tell yourself about relationships?
If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: love selflessly, serve wholeheartedly, and put Jesus first—because that’s what builds a strong, lasting relationship.
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