When I was a teenager, I attended a wedding ceremony for one of my aunts. I had a hard time taking it seriously, considering the groom showed up wearing a tuxedo t-shirt. Some of my family members are just that classy.
I remember thinking, “is this guy for real?” Sadly, the marriage didn’t last long. I don’t believe the tuxedo t-shirt was the reason for its demise. But If I were to guess, it probably didn’t help.
I think everyone who gets married wants their union to stand the test of time and be blessed by God. But how does one do that? How do you have a blessed marriage that walks in God’s favor till death do us part?
Here are a few steps you can take to make your marriage all that it can be:
Stop being selfish!
Okay, I know I’m coming out swinging here, but hear me out. Are the issues you’re facing in your marriage today due to your selfishness? Answer honestly, and don’t answer on your spouse’s behalf either—answer for you.
Maybe you want things done your way, you always want to be right, or you’re only concerned with your comfort. Whatever you’re being selfish about, you need to get rid of it for your marriage to be blessed.
The Bible says, “Wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.” (James 3:16). Get it out of your life and your marriage.
Give one hundred percent to your marriage, it’s an act of worship.
Married people have often told me that if they give fifty percent and their spouse gives fifty percent, we’re doing pretty good. The problem with that logic is that your love and devotion to the marriage will always be based on your spouse’s actions. So, you end up only giving if your spouse gives.
We forget that the love we show our spouse is an act of worship to the Lord. In teaching us about marriage, the Bible says we are to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21)
It means you give one hundred percent, not fifty, to your marriage. Not because your spouse deserves it but because you love Christ. And when you love your spouse unconditionally, you’re showing your love and reverence for Christ.
Look, your spouse isn’t perfect. They never will be. So, you should stop expecting them to be. The truth is neither are you. That’s why this point is so crucial.
If you only give to your marriage based on the merits of your spouse, you will never have a blessed marriage because they will never be enough. You must love, give, serve, respect, and submit to your spouse because you submit to Christ.
This is what God teaches about every relationship. It’s the way Jesus loves you. He loves you, not based on your goodness, because you aren’t good. He loves you with all your imperfections.
The Bible teaches us that “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
Now, go and show that same unconditional love to your spouse. It’s an act of worship, honors God and blesses your marriage.