I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there. Dealing with difficult situations within relationships is hard and sometimes downright aggravating. The question is, how do we deal with it?
Here are six steps on how to resolve conflict in your relationships.
1. Decide to be kind.
You would think this would be conflict resolution 101, but it’s not. It’s almost so fundamental that we forget it. Here’s the truth. It’s hard, if not impossible, to be in continual conflict when you choose to be kind.
Kindness is a conflict killer.
Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Notice how kindness is the nemesis of conflict. You get to decide which one you use.
2. Have a soft answer.
Have you ever made a situation worse by just opening your mouth? Yep, me too! And it usually happens when I respond harshly.
Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”
What you need to remember is tone matters. It can either be gas on the fire or water. You decide by the sound of your voice.
3. Choose not to be offended.
Let’s be honest. A fair amount of the conflicts you face in life are because you decided to be offended. Am I right?
Proverbs 19:11 says, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”
Did you catch that? It’s to your glory to choose not to be offended. Let me help you with this in four words.
Just let it go!
Proverbs 17:9 says, “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.”
4. Remember, you might be wrong.
I know there is a small, minuscule chance of this, but it’s possible you could be the reason for the conflict. Yikes!
Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 says, “Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you—for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.”
Is it possible that the conflict you’re facing right now is because of your pride, stubbornness, or bad attitude? It’s worth a look.
5. Be the one to make the first move.
The question is, how long are you going to let the conflict go on? Days, weeks, months, YEARS?
It’s time to end it if you can. That conflict is hindering your relationship with God.
Jesus said, “If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24)
Reconciliation is a godly thing. Do it if you can! Be the bigger person and act like Jesus.
I realize that not all relationships can be reconciled. That’s where step six comes in.
6. Let go of unforgiveness.
Some people just won’t reconcile and some relationships are difficult.
Whatever the case is for your conflict, forgiveness is an absolute must.
Jesus said, “when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25)
It’s time, don’t you think? Time to give it to God and to stop dwelling on it. It’s time to stop letting the hurt and unforgiveness eat you from the inside out.
Give it to God and be at peace.
Think about it:
- How can you act like Jesus in your conflict?
- Who do you need to forgive?
- Who do you need to ask for forgiveness?
Verse of the Day:
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32