In every family, you have a plethora of personalities. Husbands and wives are different. Children grow up being different from their parents. And when you add in-laws into the mix along with different upbringings, it can compound the family dynamics drastically. 

How do you keep family unity with so many personality issues?

If you’ve been struggling in your marriage and home life, the Five Bes of Family Unity will help get your family on the right track.

Be unified in honoring your parents and in-laws. 

Look, parents and in-laws aren’t perfect. I know this because I am not only a parent and in-law but also have parents and in-laws in my life. And the relationship dynamics are no joke. 

If you’re going to have peace in your home, you must be unified in honoring your parents and in-laws. 

This is so essential that God made it number five in his top ten list of the Ten Commandments.

He said, “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12)

When you read your Bible, there is no doubt that God’s blessing comes into your life when you honor your parents. 

How do we do that? How do we show honor to our parents and in-laws?

Regard them with great respect.

That’s what it means to honor, to show respect. You might not agree with everything they do or say. But that doesn’t mean you should be disrespectful or hurtful to them. Chances are they don’t agree with everything you do or say either. 

What you should excel in is showing them honor. Even when you don’t agree or they are different. We are to “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” (Romans 12:10)

When we become disrespectful, things get out of hand, and we fall into sin. Doing and saying things that are hurtful and shameful. Proverbs 20:20 says, “If someone curses their father or mother, their lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.” Don’t let that be you.

Respect and love the differences.

It only takes one quick look to realize that everyone in your family is different. Do you know why? Because God loves diversity in his family. 

Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s masterpiece…” No masterpiece is like the other. Each one is a masterpiece unto itself. Celebrate, love, and learn from that in your family. 

Walk in obedience to them. 

If you are a child living at home, the Bible tells us you must obey your parents. Ephesians 6:1 says, “Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.”

Since that’s the right thing to do, it means the opposite, living in disobedience is the wrong thing to do. Know the difference.

If you are a grown adult, you are no longer under your parents’ authority. But that doesn’t mean you should discount or disrespect everything they say. 

Many adult children could care less about their parents’ opinions or instructions. It’s sad, really. Parents have a lot to offer through life experience. 

I personally still learn plenty from my dad and my in-laws. They are all different, but they continue to teach me important truths through their life and words. I value their opinions and instruction. You should do the same. 

Don’t discount the reward.

Ephesians 6:3 says, “If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” I don’t know about you, but I want things to go well for me. Don’t you? God promises blessing when we are unified in honoring our parents. 

Questions to Consider:

• How can you show more honor to your parents and in-laws?
• In what ways can you celebrate the different personalities in your family?
• What attitudes do you need to repent of regarding your family?

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