The Key to Winning Friends—and Keeping Them

The Key to Winning Friends—and Keeping Them

In ancient mythology, there was once a man named Narcissus who noticed his reflection in the still waters of a stream. Mesmerized by his own beauty, he fell in love with his reflection and sat there gazing at it night and day. So consumed with himself, he eventually wasted away and died, alone by the stream.

While we may not literally stare at our reflections, many of us struggle with putting ourselves first in relationships. If you want to win friends and keep them, you have to set aside narcissism and choose to value others above yourself.

Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

Let’s be honest—we all have a little selfishness in us. And as we know, selfishness can destroy relationships faster than anything. But the first step to building lasting friendships is realizing that relationships are not about you. That’s why Scripture calls us to put others first.

Do you want to know how to win friends and keep them? Make it obvious to the people in your life that they matter to you. Value them! Tell them you love them because they need to hear it from your mouth. 

Treat them with kindness because there’s no such thing as a mean friend. Go out of your way to care for them because they need to know they’re valuable. Speak well of them in public and in private because that’s what true friends do.

Think about it—don’t you want others to do the same for you? Then be the friend you’ve always wanted to have.

Jesus set the best example for us when He knelt to wash His disciples’ feet, showing that true friendship is built on valuing others above ourselves. When you start living a life that genuinely values others, you will never lack lifelong friendships. You will begin to experience relationships as God intended—rooted in love, selflessness, and a genuine care for others.

Think it over:

• Are you too focused on yourself? What steps can you take to start valuing others more?

• Which friends could you reach out to and serve today?

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